The Shirt That Swallowed Me Whole

By: Leah Vernon

Word Count: 1092

Synopsis: The Shirt That Swallowed Me Whole is a hilarious essay of shopping at a department store with Mom as an overweight Muslim girl in the 90’s.



The Shirt That Swallowed Me Whole


“Turn around,” Mom ordered.

I twisted around with slumped shoulders. She did the same thing to the back of me and allowed the shapeless shirt to fall. “Good. Your butt is covered.”

I glared at the ugly red shirt that would probably look better on a tree trunk. She laid the monstrosity on top of Little Bad Sister’s pretty clothes. Mom continued to go up and down the aisle and choose different colors of the same kind of shirt: an ugly blue one and an ugly black one were added to the pile with the ugly red one. All big. All shapeless but modest to her Muslim mom mind. I was never going to get to be like any of the characters in Clueless: no cool afterschool parties, or 90’s montages, or making out with a high-school boy in the back of a really cool convertible that my white dad gave me for my birthday.

All hope was lost. And the day only got worst...


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